In this weeks blog, I’ll discuss the importance of councils and how they can be an impact for good and not a burden. 

     "Your most important friendships should be with your own brothers and sisters and with your father and mother. Love your family. Be loyal to them. Have a genuine concern for your brothers and sisters. Help carry their load so you can say, like the lyrics of the song, 'He ain't heavy; he's my brother'." -President Ezra Taft Benson

     Councils are crucial to making important decisions in a family.  When a husband and wife need to make a choice, (where to live, work, attend school, something to do with the kids) they should take some time out of their busy day and council.  Councils are much more than just saying, “So what’s your opinion? Yeah, that sounds good.  Uh-huh”  These are not good tools for councils.  It’s important to weigh the pros and cons of each situation, and openly and humbly respect each other’s point of views.  If your spouse says something you don’t agree with, try to understand where he/she is coming from and why they said it in the first place. 

     After coming spending time with each other in a marriage council, include as many immediate family members as possible.  Explain the situation, explain how and why you came to your conclusions, and then ask them their thoughts and be honest in processing their answers and take it into consideration.  There can be great good when other family members are included in big decisions. 

     Children will often feel like their parent’s respect and care for them and their opinions and thoughts when included in councils.  Parents may often be surprised by the response and maturity of children in making crucial decisions and their benefit of advice.  M. Russel Ballard said, “Such expression is essential if we are to achieve the purpose of councils. Leaders and parents should establish a climate that is conducive to openness, where every person is important and every opinion valued. The Lord admonished: “Let one speak at a time and let all listen unto his sayings, that when all have spoken that all may be edified” (D&C 88:122; emphasis added).”

     In spending the time to council, families will know the choices they make will be good and beneficial.  It can be scary to move to a new town, new school, friends, work, etc.  But if decisions are made as a family and all agree, then families will strengthen their relationships and have more respect and appreciation for each other. 

     My Mom would very often gather me and all my siblings into the living room.  She would talk to us about the gospel and teach us principles and proper behavior.  Many times, these meetings would turn into councils where we could express ourselves and be completely open with my Mom and the rest of the family about any personal problem and any achievements.  This was a wonderful learning opportunity for me because it showed me how important councils are and the precious learning and growing moments. 

     To end, Elder Ballard said so beautifully, “All councils should encourage free and open discussion by conferring with one another and striving to have clear, concise communication. Councils should discuss objectives and concerns, with mutual understanding being the ultimate goal” I know councils can be and should be a good experience for all members of the family and that they bring so much growth and love within a family system.  Parents and children will be closer and more open with councils and the practice of open communication with each other.