Today’s blog topic is divorce and remarriage.

     First, mistakes happen.  I think it’s important to know that not all marriages end in “happily ever after”.  This doesn’t mean you married the wrong person, or that you’re the wrong person, it’s just that husbands and wives let pride and problems in their marriage. Aside from the cases of addictions to drugs, alcohol, and abuse which cause divorce, there are other things that are subtle, but just as dangerous to a marriage.

     Marriages can either grow and become stronger or get damaged and become weaker.  This is every second process.  Marriage takes work, constant nourishment, and thoughtfulness.  A great way to keep your marriage strong each and every day is to give constant compliments.  Not every minute, that could be a bit annoying, but when you see a good time to say something uplifting and thoughtful.  NEVER be sarcastic or poke fun at your spouses’ insecurities even if you think you’re playing or being funny.  A great point to remember is that you should never feel enjoyment at another persons’ expense.  JUST BE KIND, ALWAYS.  Another point is to, “Remember why you fell in love. During the down times, it may be difficult to remember why you married your spouse. Those are the times, though, when you most need to remember. Stop and think about the things that made you fall in love. When I find myself being critical of my husband, I think about his smile, his musical abilities, or perhaps our first kiss. Anything positive about him helps me remember that this is the man I want to spend eternity with.”

     “I strongly urge you and those who advise you to face up to the reality that for most marriage problems, the remedy is not divorce but repentance. Often the cause is not incompatibility but selfishness. The first step is not separation but reformation. Divorce is not an all-purpose solution, and it often creates long-term heartache. A broad-based international study of the levels of happiness before and after “major life events” found that, on average, persons are far more successful in recovering their level of happiness after the death of a spouse than after a divorce.3 Spouses who hope that divorce will resolve conflicts often find that it aggravates them since the complexities that follow divorce—especially where there are children—generate new conflicts.” – Dallin H. Oaks. 

     President James E. Faust said, “You might wonder, “How can a marriage be constantly enriched?” We build our marriages with endless friendship, confidence, and integrity and also by ministering to and sustaining each other in our difficulties. Adam, speaking of Eve, said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 2:23). There are a few simple, relevant questions that each person, whether married or contemplating marriage, should honestly ask in an effort to become “one flesh.” They are: First, am I able to think of the interest of my marriage and spouse first before I think of my own desires? Second, how deep is my commitment to my companion, aside from any other interests? Third, is he or she my best friend? Fourth, do I have respect for the dignity of my spouse as a person of worth and value? Fifth, do we quarrel over money? Money itself seems neither to make a couple happy, nor the lack of it, necessarily, to make them unhappy. A quarrel over money is often a symbol of selfishness. Sixth, is there a spiritually sanctifying bond between us?”

     I urge you to renew, refresh, and heal your marriage and keep it strong.  Divorce is hard, sad and often terrible.  Do things now to prevent divorce and strengthen your marriage, for that will be your greatest joy.

https://www.lds.org/ensign/2006/06/six-ways-to-keep-your-marriage-strong?lang=eng